without you
by iluvtheo.c
Summary: After a horrific accident Kirsty's life hangs in the balance. Will she survive? And how will Kane cope with the idea of loosing his wife? First H&A fanfic please R&R!thanks
1. without you

**hey hey eveyone! hope u all like my story! i'd love for you all to review it cos i'd love to know what you think of it and any ideas you have. Thanks..happy reading**

Kirsty lay motionless on the hospital bed. The machine seemed to be the only thing keeping her alive, keeping her with him.

Kane sat next to her. Desperately looking for some sign from his wife that she was ok. He had begged her, shouted at her to get better but now he was unsure if she could even hear him.

_I couldn't survive, not without her. Why, why had we had that stupid fight? _He thought, not taking his eyes off Kirsty not even for a second.

That night they had had a typical newly married couple fight, over something stupid. She had stormed out. Next thing Kane knew Flynn was calling him, Kirsty had been knocked over by a car and had been rushed to the hospital. At that moment every ounce of breath left his body.

_Not my Kirsty _he thought _it can't be her._

But it was her, she lay broken and bruised on the hospital table and there was nothing Kane do to help her except sit and wait.

Flynn entered the room quietly; he knew that he had to tell Kane that there was only a small chance of Kirsty surviving but he just didn't know how.

"Kane, Kane we need to talk" He said sitting next to him trying to turn Kane's gaze away from Kirsty.

"Kane, I think that we need to talk about Kirsty's chance of survival."

"I don't want to talk about it, I know she's going to get better Flynn, I know it!" He said with such determination Flynn found himself dreading saying the words to him.

"Mate, she's suffered massive head trauma and internal bleeding, she's not breathing on her own. I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you Kane, when we turn the machine off there's a 95 percent chance Kirsty is going to die"

Flynn's words cut into Kane like a knife. He couldn't loose her.

"Listen Kane I am always here if you want to talk about this ok? And Ryse is going to be getting back here as soon as he can. You should try and get some sleep mate, try going home and coming back tomorrow."

"I'm not leaving her." He stated plainly.

"Ok" He said quietly leaving Kane alone to take in everything he had just told him.

Kane didn't know what to do. Kirsty was the only thing he had in his life; if she were gone he'd have nothing. She was his world and he couldn't imagine it without her.

He looked around the room lost not knowing what to do. He searched the room for anything, anything that would make this nightmare go away.

He ran to the bed and grabbed Kirsty's hand, tears streaming down his face.

"Please Kirst, please don't leave me! I love you Kirsty please wake up!"

He cried into her shoulder. Touching her cheek softly he kissed her bruised and bloodied forehead.

"Goodnight Kirst, I'll be back in the morning" He kissed her again and made to leave. Looking back he prayed _please let her be ok, please._

He entered the busy corridor. People passed didn't know that his wife lay injured in a hospital bed. They didn't care.

He walked a few steps not knowing where he was going to go, his mind still totally on Kirsty.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Flynn stitching up a cut on a young mans head. Flynn stared at Kane then back to the boy, a look of dread filled his face.

_It can't be! _He thought _it is..it's him!_

**Well hope you liked please review so i know if i should carry on. Thanks**

**luv R xxx**

****

**You'll never walk alone**

**l.f.c**


	2. the accident

**Thanks for all my lovely reviews. Please enjoy the next chapter and tell me what you think. Happy reading.**

Before Kane could do anything Flynn was at his side.

"Is that him..is he the one who knocked Kirsty over?" He shouted anger surging through him.

"Listen Kane, listen to me. Violence isn't going to solve anything here ok, so why not just follow me come on." Flynn suggested making to move Kane away but Kane wasn't going anywhere.

He pushed Flynn away charging at the man.

"You!!!" He shouted pushing the man roughly so he stood up. "You ran over my wife." Grabbing the man by the throat he backed him into the wall. He was so angry, angrier than he'd ever been before.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" the man stuttered, tears forming in his eyes. "It was an accident."

"Kane , come on mate..just leave him alone. Come on" Flynn said dragging Kane away from the man.

Kane couldn't believe all of this was happening to him. He sighed loudly.

"Kane, I really think it's best if you go home." Flynn said placing a hand on Kane's shoulder. With a slight nod Kane walked towards the door.

Kane lay on the couch, a thousand thoughts swimming through his brain all of which led back to Kirsty. He tried to remain positive but Flynn's words echoed around his head. He closed his eyes wanting sleep and hoping that in the morning all of this would have been some horrible nightmare and he would wake to find his wife sleeping safe and sound next to him. His eyes snapped open as a gentle knock came from the front door. He ran to it hoping that this wouldn't be the call of bad news. He swung the door open quickly to find Dani's tearstained face staring at him.

"Why weren't you looking after her? Kane? You promised me when you married her that you would always look after her!" She cried forcing her way past him into the room.

"Excuse me?" Kane asked puzzled.

"You promised me you would keep her safe"

"You think I wanted any of this to happen to her? Do you think if I could take her place so it meant she would be ok I wouldn't do it in a second!? She's my wife" He shouted, hurt that Dani would think so less of him after everything that they had overcome.

Dani sat heartbroken on the couch.

"I know, I know" She cried "It's just she's my little sister Kane. I can't bear to see her like that. I just ...don't know what to do." She cried harder.

"I know Dani. It's ok" He said trying desperately not to cry placing a hand lightly on her shoulder.

The ringing of the phone interrupted their shared moment of anxiety. Kane froze.

"It can't be the hospital. I just left ...she was ok!" Dani said fear filling her voice.

Kane slowly walked to the phone, picking the receiver up he braced himself for what he knew would be the worst news he'd ever get in his life.

Hope you liked it. Please review 

**Lots of love**

**R **

**xxxx**

**You'll never walk alone **

**l.f.c**


	3. the talk

**Hey guys..thanks so much for all my lovely reviews I love to read them! Well here's chapter 3..happy reading.**

Kane placed the receiver down carefully. He turned slowly to Dani his heart filled with sadness.

"We have to get down the hospital right away." He said slowly still trying to stay strong... trying to believe.

"Oh Kane, no! I was just with her she was fine." Dani cried running to the door.

Kane tried his best to follow her but he could not bring himself to move. He stared straight at the floor shaking with fear, silent tears streaming down his face.

Dani turned to look at him.

"Kane, Kane come on." She whispered. "Everything will be ok, but we have to go." She said placing a hand on his arm motioning him to come with her.

Kane sucked in his breath angry that he'd let himself loose hope. He gathered himself together and followed Dani to the car.

They arrived at the hospital flustered and out of breath, desperately searching for Flynn or anyone to tell them any news. Walking towards Kirsty's room Kane's heart began to beat faster.

_They're going to tell us that's they got it wrong and that she's going to be ok. _He kept repeating over and over in his head. After what seemed like forever searching for someone Flynn turned the corner.

"Flynn, is she ok? Can we see her?"

Flynn looked sad.

"I think you should just come with me, so we can sit down and I can talk to you properly." Kane's heart sank as he followed Flynn into his office.

"Well, there's no easy way of saying this. About an half an hour ago Kirsty suffered a massive brain haemorrhage."

His words seemed to wash over Kane. Next to him Dani began to cry, but Kane couldn't. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him.

"No Flynn. You must have got it wrong." Dani's voice pleaded with Flynn to tell her that he'd got it wrong.

"I'm sorry, I really am but Kirsty's only breathing now because of the machine as soon as we switch it off ..."

Kane couldn't bear to listen to anymore, he slowly got up from the chair and made to leave. Outside was so busy, so many were standing with their families, their children... their wives.

Dazed he walked to Kirsty's room. She looked so peaceful, so alive.

_If she's breathing she can't be dead! _He thought sitting down next to her.

He placed a hand on her hand, she was cold. Outside he could see Ryse had arrived and was comforting his daughter who was crying hysterically. He looked at his wife, hurt and confused.

"Please Kirsty don't leave me."

Placing his head on the bed he wept.

Ryse entered the room, tears falling from his eyes. He stared at his daughter, shocked that he was now facing his most feared nightmare.

"Oh Kirsty." He whispered. He looked at Kane, he couldn't feel anything but deep sorrow for him. He'd never ever liked Kane but he had always tried as it become clear Kirsty really was so committed to him. Now he wanted so much to take all the hurt away from him.

Walking slowly over to the sad figure of Kane he placed a hand on his shoulder, Kane flinched slightly not realizing that someone was in the room with him.

Turning to look at Ryse he desperately wanted to say something..but nothing came.

"I'm sorry Kane."

More tears traced down Kane's face as he returned his gaze to his wife. He grabbed the hand on his shoulder and clinged to it desperately for comfort.In that moment they were closer than they had ever been, connected solely by their utter raw grief and pain.

**Sorry if it was a bit much! Please review! Thanks**

**Luv**

**R xx**

**You'll never walk along**

**l.f.c**


	4. watching, waiting

**Hey everyone. I'd just like to thank all of my reviewers it makes me sooo happy to read all your lovely comments. I'd especially like to say a special thanks to H&A fan, lozzy babe and the Future Mrs Ja Rule for all your reviews...they made me smile sooo much. And to the future Mrs Ja Rule I would love for you to put my story up on your website!!! You will have to email me the URL because fan fic wouldn't let u put a website address up.. if that's ok. And thanks to everyone else who I missed out too.**

**Right now the thank yous are done.. happy reading!**

Flynn had explained it to him over and over again but Kane still found it hard to understand what he had to do. He had to sign a consent form to have Kirsty's machine switched off then he would have to sign other documents about insurance...things that he felt didn't mean anything anymore. Then he would have to say his goodbyes and watch the source that was keeping his wife with him being turned off.

Everything about the last couple of days hurt so much Kane found it hard to even speak anymore. Over the last few days he had been a constant presence next to Kirsty, only leaving when one of the doctors or Ryse told him to. He was still hoping, hoping for some sort of miracle...anything.

Flynn entered the relatives room filled with sadness.

"It's time." He whispered softly.

Dani broke down in tears again; Ryse put a gentle arm around her and guided her out of the room. His face was set...passed crying he just needed to get this over with as the pain was too much to bear.

They left the room quietly as Flynn sat next to Kane.

"I know how hard this is going to be for you Kane; I just want you to know that me and Sal will be here for you."

Kane tried to thank him but he just couldn't get the words out. The door swung open and Flynn was called away by a nurse... leaving Kane alone.

His head ached, his eyes were sore with crying, his heart felt too heavy.

He sat in the room for what seemed like eternity until the door opened and a nurse motioned Kane to follow her.

_This is it _he thought. Fear overcame him; stepping out of the dark relatives room the harsh light of the corridor hurt his eyes. How he wished that he could be one of the people just wondering around the hospital not realizing the hurt he was feeling.

He reached Kirsty's room dreading entering it. Ryse and Dani stepped out both shaken, in turn they both nodded at him, understand just how hard this was going to be for him.

Entering her room he felt so alone, so scared. Sitting next to her he was lost for words. He just sat staring at her wanting to take in every last minute of her. Kissing her lightly on the lips his tears splashed onto her face.

"I love you Kirst." He whispered. Wiping the tear marks away from her cheeks softly and holding her hand he nodded to Flynn to enter the room.

"Ok Kane, I'm going to turn the machine off now...are you sure you've said goodbye?" He asked quietly.

Kane nodded feebly.

It was all over in a matter of minutes. Flynn switched the machine off, took out all the tubes and they waited...but nothing happened Kirsty did not breath on her own. Crushing her hand, willing her to breathe Kane broke down into yet more tears. Pain surged through every part of his body...he'd just watched his wife die. Flynn turned to comfort him.

"I'm sorry Kane."

**ok thanks for reading..i'd love to know what you thought of this chap..so please review.**

**love**

**R xx**

****

**You'll never walk alone**

**l.f.c**


	5. the ending

**Final chapter arrives!! Hope u all like it! Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter... happy reading. **

Kane sat at the front row of the church, facing his wife's coffin. It still hadn't sunk in yet.... that he'd be spending the rest of his life without her. People around him were crying for her.... but he couldn't anymore

Jade stood at the front speaking passionately about her sister who she loved so much. Her voice wavered but she remained strong and made it through without crying but as she sat down next to her sister and her dad, tears streamed down her face and all composure she had was lost.

Kirsty's coffin was lowered slowly into the ground... people threw handfuls of earth into the coffin and in their own silent prayers mourned her lose.

Finally it came to Kane to say thank you and goodbye to everyone. Person after person told him just how sorry they were, Kane tried to appear grateful but in reality there words didn't mean anything to him... they weren't going to bring Kirsty back.

Kane sat on the beach it was growing dark now. He sat watching the waves crash into the sand. He kept expecting Kirsty to come and sit next to him. They had loved to sit on the beach ...just watching the water.

He jumped as Beth appeared by his side.

"Are you alright?" Beth asked.

"I buried my wife today Beth." He stated plainly.

"I'm sorry Kane. Today was so awful for you, but you need to know that your not in this alone Kane. We are your family now and we all want to be there for you."

Kane sat there not saying a word.

"Listen Kane, if you ever need to talk to anyone or a companion to watch the telly with or someone to just listen to you cry...you can always ring us up or come around to the house. Your always welcome there." After a few minutes she made to leave.

"Thanks Beth." Kane said quickly and then he watched her leave.

That night Kane tried everything to keep his mind occupied; he had never imagined it would have been so hard to just concentrate on something other than Kirsty. He couldn't do it...every part of him cried out for her...every part of him wanted to hold her again...wanted to smell and touch her again.

He lay down on Kirsty's side of the bed and inhaled her pillow. It still smelt of her, he touched it lovingly longing for her to be with him.

At that moment he knew that this was going to be his life now. He could never love another like he loved Kirsty... now he had to accept that she was never coming back

**Ok thanks that's it, that's the end.**

**Thank you all so much for all of the reviews, I've loved reading them.**

**Lots of love **

**R xx**

you'll never walk alone

L.F.C


End file.
